So here is my first attempt at blogging:
This year I started to ask myself, why really do I need to get still; why do I need to meditate? I’ve always been fidgety, and “ADD-esque”—a typical type A overachiever, multi-tasker…you all know what I mean. So, why get still other than my typical response to most things I “can’t” do, which is to see it as a challenge.
I think I understand why this is so important now. After years of trying to get still, focus on the breath, and wait to see if it helps, I finally let go of the need. As soon as I let go of the result of what meditating would do for me, I felt it. Stillness helps me to see what really makes me happy; it helps me to keep perspective about life.
With all of this stillness and with an awareness that keeps growing, I have recently been doing some shedding: of the past, of my ego, and of debt. Shedding possessions mirrors shedding the possessions we cling to in our minds—past boyfriends, job interviews, numbers on a scale—all those moments of rejection and validation.
I shed to release, to let go. I shed to be clear that all the layers on top of me do not define me—they either compliment and add colour to me, or they dim my light and hinder me.
I find when I have not been “still” in a while, that Fear tends to creep into every moment or decision. And so, now I find myself saying it’s ok to shed–we have nothing to fear in letting go.